Saturday, July 24, 2010

Beete Lamhe!

Ever wondered why suddenly memories of the past
come flooding back to you one random day, causing
you to frantically look into the tiniest details of those
memories in your head … you start looking for
pictures, videos, movies or books anything tat is
representative of those memories .. you try very hard
to imagine how you felt then and then try to recreate
those moments in your present life …One thing leads
to the other .. you start remembering your school life
and the pranks you played on unsuspected victims,
annual days and sport days, finding out lil details
about your crush(es) …getting excited about your
freedom during summer holidays, climbing tress
without getting caught or playing games for really
long hours till you mom threaten you with beating if
you don’t come “immediately”, preps for boards minus
the TV … you think that is that is best time of your
life when you suddenly are into college, with more
freedom and a new set of friends, ragging by seniors
in your first year followed by you ragging ur juniors
the very  next year, your own gang of friends, the
dhabas and movies and beaches you visited with
them … the long bike/car rides speeding above limit,
remember those days when you would cram for your
exams and have late night teas to keep urself awake
so that you can “pass” the exam, about the times when
you would have long conversations with your hostel
friends about random things in life and of course the
gossips going on in the college … you remember the
long walks in your campus or umpteen visits to the
canteen, running at the last min to enter your hostel
before the curfew, mass bunking classes jus coz you
are bored or want to watch a movie as a gang,
getting ODs for college culturals and  tech fests,
song dedications and proposals and rejections, bday
bump and bday treats, huge mess bills and even
bigger canteen bills, sneaking out to meet your bf/gf...
prepaid sim with unlimited SMSes… regular visits to
archies and CCDs to enjoy the AC, a lil bit of tension
of getting “placed” or GRE/CAT prep ….and off you go
to start another phase of your life offering a new
path…

All this while you see a sea of faces, some of which you
prominently remember, while others are faded
memory, best friends, arch enemies, juniors, seniors
and super seniors… names bounce of your head and
make you wonder where are they and what are they
doing now ...they are others you are in touch with…
you wish for gathering with all the different people
from you past .. wish some one would take initiative
from their busy life to organize  something where you
can relive your past… there are ppl with whom you
never spoke before but are now best friends with …
laughing about all the missed years of friendship ….
then they are others who were your best friends but
now you don’t even have any idea what they are up
to…sometimes you wish you had been more active and
stayed in touch and  other times you wonder wat
exactly happened to cause this drift  …

aahhh .. these memories … bring both a smile and tear
on your face…makes you wonder about the different
paths you might have taken and the results of those
paths…And then you realize that you even don’t
know the future of the path you have taken now…this
realization makes you hope that the
relationships which you have now last forever and
grow stronger by the hour … makes you hope that the
you forge new bonds and also repair some of the old
ones …. makes you hope tat you remember all these
moments in the future as vividly as they are now!!!

Saturday, July 10, 2010

Crossroads of my life…

Recently, my life has been real tumultuous… I have been

faced with two or more choices and forced to take a

decision … There is this fear which exists al the time about

whether I am making the right decision … As always, I

think,  I analyze, I discuss, I argue (with myself), I justify, I

rethink before I reach a final decision … Currently, I am

faced with many options … as I told a bunch of ppl .. I am

right now at the crossroads of my life/career .. I do not

know what I would be doing 3 months from now .. But I knw

I would be doing something …I have a lot of open options ..

I want to go down all the roads and check them out … One

day I think one path is right , the next day the same path

looks less attractive … I have been confused like this for a

while … With my internship too, I was confused … I kept

asking myself y did I want to this unpaid intern ? esp an

intern job in which I already had a experience from my full-

time job .. But something in the internship attracted me

and I couldn’t place my finger on that … In the end, I

decided to do it going by my gut feeling and now I am happy

tat I made that decision…With all this confusion, I recently

got very excited coz a new door of possibility opened …At

first thot, it was like ‘oh no, not another road to my set of

crossroads’ but slowly as i explored this possibility,  I got

more excited …It was kinda perfect path for me as

it satisfied a bunch of my requirements .. But once the

excitement began to wear off, I saw how much prep I need

to make before I actually set foot on the path which even

takes me to that road … this road would then take me to

the right door …a new determination has risen inside me …

to make sure i reach the door … and Hopefully, with all the

choices I am forced to make, May this be the best one out

there !